Smokers Delight

Advertising or Rice Farming

2008-04-03T00:52:00.000-07:00

I know too much. Seriously sometimes the knowledge of things that are cool and wonderous in the world living in a place where progress is spelt progressssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss............ is, quiet simply depressing.

Recent setbacks in my creative feild has led me more and more into the belief that maybe advertising is not the right line of work and rice farming is.

Let's break it down.

Advertising pays well, not Richard Branson well, but a decent job with a decent wage. You work long hours sometimes forgetting the difference between night and day, eat badly, sleep badly and spend more time of your life at work in an airconditioned, selaed room. You deal with alot of bull shit that drives you mad, stubborness at the workplace from a hundred people, good work gets pissed on and trumped by horrible below the belt creatives that are'nt worth putting a name too, your clients have no respect for you, especially if your creative, in fact though your paid to be a creative person you will never be more creative than the client, alot of the time client servicing can't understnd why you can't understand them when the reality is, no rational person with a thinking brain can understand them.

Advertising is not looking good.

Rice Farming doesn't pay that well and sometimes you have good harvest and bad harvests, more manual labour but work ends at 4.30pm except on harvest day, plenty of excercise and workout during the day outdoors means a healthy nights sleep, You deal with alot of bullshit but it's highly benificial to your crop, stubborness is dealt with beatings, good harvest means you've done well a bad harvest means blame the Gods your clients love you especially now with rice in short supply, your rice will be welcomed and will save Sri Lanka from famine and client servicing eats your rice so no one would ever say anything against you for fear of an overfertilized batch of rice.

Rice Farming looking promising.

*sigh* slaves to money we have become.

Free to Speak not Free to Use.

2008-01-28T22:19:00.000-08:00

It is said imitation is a form of flattery and plagiarism is piracy. Now I may be a little egotistical about feeling a little good about myself when something from my blog is quoted in a national newspaper like The Lakbima, especially when it's in my favour, but in the grand scheme of things and in all fairness to the blogger community which I have grown to respect highly whatever the topic and whoever the person, I must protest.

I have, for the last 7 years written artcles as a freelancer for many locally produced and printed publications and every publication has a set of rules and regulations that need to be followed to keep in line with legalities and content and without fail every set of guidelines is very strict about plagiarism. Which is why I'm suprised that the management of Lakbima themselves engage in the worst crime against word scribes, blatently.

To me blogging is about personal opinons, and in a country where people cannot under any circumstances take criticism in any form, it is dangerous to force the public to read personal opinions. When someone reads a blog and finds it offensive to themselves, they have the ability to close the window and never look it again or they can express their views directly to the writer and clear up any misgivings they may have, with a newspaper, it is one sided to the reader which makes it biased to the writer, it is read with the understanding that the writer is an authority on the subject which more often that not they are not because they write about their feelings and opinoins in a personal manner which makes the article purely subjective, true there are bloggers who research and study the topic before saying anything but not all and not all the time, do public readers know this, no. Which means any newspaper that were to plagiarise a blog would be in effect publishing an unbalanced view and possibly unfactual information for the public thus further propogating the reputation newspapers have "Don't belive everything you read"

The other issue is a political one. In Sri Lanka newspapers are divided into two categories, one is for the government and the other is against no middle ground no grey area. In the world of blogging everything is grey and therefore the opinons and views of bloggers are unabashed in the secure environment of cyberspace where freedom of speech is still free and censorship is left up to an individual and not to a group of individuals who feel the need to laud it over everyone else. Now in a country that thrives on shameless censorship, if someones opinion wasn't politacally correct would it be fair to put that inncoent persons life at risk just to raise readership and sales or have a slight at the government, when all that person was doing was just making an opininated statement to fellow bloggers who understand what blogging is all about not public newspaper readers who still have a long way to go before opening their minds to free speech and constructive criticism.

In the end bloggers can't stop plagiarism in Sri Lanka specially because there is no hard and fast law against it. Or even if there is the lengthy court process makes it seem pointless. Unless you have contacts and family members who are high powered lawyers or unless all the bloggers in Sri Lanka unite (and I mean bloggers from Jaffna to Galle) against plagiarism and as one unit sue tha pants off anyone who uses a persons creativity as their own, we bloggers have to hope and pray that newspapers, journalists and editors find some ethics in the way they find and publish articles, sometimes just asking if the article can be used is more than enough.

Isn't it more fulfilling to see your own words in print as opposed to somebodyelse'.

Last Post 29th June 2007

2008-01-24T20:39:00.000-08:00

True, I have'nt been a faithful blogger over the last few months and so much has happened most of which was begging to be dissected and analyzed amd bitched about. The State of the nation hasn't improved, Hikkaduwa is still my fav holiday destination and Facebook has robbed us of our precious time. But at the urging of fellow bloggers including my friend from The Missing Sandwich (name drop) I have decided to display my inability to spell and my impertinent opinions back online whether it's liked or not.

And so to inaugurate the Return to the blog I would like to start off by pissing off the organisers of 'The Galle Literary Festival", which I have dubbed the most pretentious event that Colombo's and Galle's high society have ever trumped up, to date. In fact it has all the symptoms of an event that was concieved over buttery scones and high tea by people who feel the need for self-importance or a nice picture in the (Hi)gh magazine.

Disclaimer: I have never been to the Galle Literary festtival aka GLF and out of the miniscule amount of people who read my blog I'm sure one or two may be huge fans and supporters of the GLF who may feel that I may be a little too uncultured to critisize such an event without even experiencing it, to which I say "Yes, now eff off".

From the first GLF last year I have been outspoken about the fact that GLF is nothing more than a money making machine not interested really in the propagation of literature and art but more in the propagation of ones image. It's a festival for the rich and literature for the well read. I don't claim to be a genius and connoisseur of words as do some of the people that attened the GLF but I do know how to read and write and I'm sure 95% of the people that turn up for the GLF have that ability as well, it's not everyday an illiterate person can dish out 35 thousand ruppees for an all access pass to the GLF, which is my biggest gripe. With all the impressive sponsors that the event attracts and all the rich people that have a stake in GLF why is it that it's only affordable by the rich. Surely don't international schools have a fairly extensive literature curriculum and aren't international school students exposed to a more spoken english way of life. Then why is it only they can afford going to the GLF. Don't the millions of underpriviledged kids with poor if not severe lack of education deserve to experience the wonders of literature or is it because they may never have the chance to study at Nottingham University or Harvard to really be deemed worthy of knowledge.

For example take blogging, the only reason why blogging has taken the world by storm is because it gives everybody and everyone regardless of color, race or creed the ability to voice their opinions, hopes and dreams without having to be a hot shot published journalist or author, for FREE, of course at the GLF its become a reason to have overpriced sessions on blogging for people who have been blogging since it's inception. What about poor young people in tiny pocket villages who blog from tiny sweat house internet cafe's trying hard to be part of the online community on a budget as tight as my ass-hole? Have sessions as much as you want but does there have to be such a steep price on knowledge and understanding FREE speech.

Why does knowledge have to be so expensive? Wasn't some the greatest authors and playwrites of the previous centuries poorer than church mice with nothing to live for? Did they prance around in their Prado's and GTi horse carraiges?

I think the GLF organisers should realize that if they want to show off how wonderfully philanthropic and dedicated they are to literature then maybe they should make it possible for people from all walks of life be it rich or poor to be able to enjoy literature and knowledge equally instead of trying to teach rich people how to suck eggs.

Remember the fall from a high horse is a long one and will freakin hurt at the end.

NOW OPEN

2007-06-29T05:09:00.001-07:00

The Simple Works is now open at www.nigelsportfolio.blogspot.com.
It was opened today so content is very minimal for now.

Kimi Should Move... to Bajaj

2007-06-12T21:09:00.001-07:00

Hellloooooo...... forget what's going on in Sri Lanka, ever since it's independent existence it's been doomed. But what the hell is going down at the Ferrari Camp in Formula 1??!!! Seriously, Ferrari has been struggling ever since that start of the season and how dissapointing it has been. Alot of people especially Kimi fans were expecting alot from Kimi this year being on the scarlet side and having what was dubbed to be the faster paced cars but boy were they and Ferrai betting on the wrong horse. Massa on the other hand has proved to be the better of the two and is certainly pulling his weight on the track, Kimi, on the other should be relegated to the post of three wheel driver.

On the the flip side it was under dog day afternoon for Sato who did fans and Alonso haters (who put together would cover europe) proud by out pacing Alonso on a straight and overtook him stealing 7th position from the Spanish muppet. Would somebody give Sato a better car please and give Alonso a wet wipe.

Kubica decided the track was too small for him to share with 12 other drivers so he took to the air and tried to make sonic boom he got as far as a sonic mess, thankfully he was able to be carried away with a broken leg from a really broken BMW Sauber. BMW's comment: Not pleased.

So another race looms on the weekend and another chance for Kimi to prove himself a wanker yet again.

Nige out.

2007-03-05T10:50:00.000-08:00

ROCK SATURDAY vs. ROCK SATURDAY

2007-03-05T09:53:00.000-08:00

Hello, the inevitable has happened. 8 years ago a group of DJ's called Zone productions put together an event which some many thousands have affectionately come to know as Rock Saturday. It ran for a steady 2 years every month which ended on it's 2nd anniversary bringing a thousand strong crowd to their knees sobbing in depression. 4 years ago a group known as the Rock Company STOLE!!!!! the name Rock Saturday and in a lame attempt tried very hard to bring back the glory days of rockers head banging their heads of in front of the speakers, they got as far as the Girls Guides Association Hall. And so 2007 has arrived and the calls for proper rock entertainment have been heard. It's the return of the classic and original Rock Saturday. Of course such things don't come without conflict. Enter the sour grapes. These are the people who have tried hard to fill the Girls Guide Association halls with people using the sounds of talented muscians trying hard to emulate heavy metal, death metal, trash metal and possibly scrap metal failing miserably. These sour grapes have been sending out emails dissing the classic Rock Saturday in a vain attempt to make the borru Rock Saturday cool and legit. Boo Hoo. So I who is an ardent fan of rock and it's saturday's have decided to respond in detail. Here we go.....

email: "I'm only disappointed that Battery moved there (somehow live bands don't interest them as much as DJ consoles). It's all influence like Shanjei says. all these guys are close knit and possibly joined at the brain."

Some people like to sponsor popular events. No one wants to flog a dead horse so stop dreaming and get the Girl Guides to sell some cookies.

email: "And unlike the old days, (genuine) rock fans have evolved into more complex creatures. These old dudes better be up to date with their metal or risk facing a few airborne beer bottles."

People want proper rock not metal, otherwise there would be people at your scrap yard show.

email: "I can assure you they'll play the same 'ol classic rock to suit the old and alternative rock to suit the women, children and Anil."

Well, even they have taste, apparently.

email: "Any rocker worth his salt knows where the panic at the disco is and will avoid it like the plague."

Panic at the Disco is when your local rockers play at a NIGHTCLUB and no one knows how to get out.

email: "They may have better DJs but they'll never have a better rock n roll BAND. We, on the other hand, not only have the bands (with some hot new talent, too. and their fans) but also the option of our having own DJ. And unlike them, we don't have any 'heaviness' restrictions so we can cater to anyone in any genre, from cheese to whatever (our combined CD collections could outdo the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame!). In other words, their product (with its limited features) will eventually lose its novelty and die off. again. Remember, our strength is that we're offering people something different,
and that shouldn't ever change."

Talk about being an egotestical. Who cares about how many CD's you can put together, it's about playing the right song at the right time something our so called "hot new talent" have alot to learn about. Besides transvestites offer something different too but you don't see people clamouring at their doors.

email: "Now is the perfect time to bring in the all important 'wow' factor to our events (venue appearance, deco, art works, trailers, etc.)"

Get band members to cut their hair that might wow a few people.

email: "People went to these 'original' Rock Saturdays because they wanted to be seen at a nice place. It's like taking your picture in front of the Taj Mahal; to show and tell. I don't remember seeing any of those so called 'rock fans' at any of our Rock Saturday gigs (just a handful)."

Hullooooo, thats because most of the so called hot talent that we have today were still pooping in their diapers wondering which bottle of milk to drink from. Rock Saturday is where it happened for rockers to rock to good music. And as a rock fan I have been to the newer Rock Saturday gigs, I was so disgusted and bored it was like a Bryan Adams concert crossed with
SAW III

email: "I'm quite thrilled to bits; we're actually witnessing the birth of an industry."

Excuse me under rock dweller, the birth of the industry happened a long time ago where do you think the Rock Company stole the name from, the future????

email: "Now all we have to do is work harder and stay on top.
Cheers!
\m/"

How cute a little devil sign in sms language. quaint.

Everyone has the right to an opinion but don't go dissing the things that started things and the things that some of us enjoy. You have your Rock Saturday we have ours.

Marlon and Wendall see you on the 24th viva la Rock Saturday.

Part 2.1.23.455442112233 The Return Of Nigel, Restepca.

2007-02-08T21:56:00.000-08:00

Anna Nicole Smith - Born: God only Knows Dead: Today, 2007
Boyfreind - Born: Last Year
Photo: Blatently stolen from BBC

Greetings and Salutations to my friends, visitors, those who have hoped I was dead and martians hiding from NASA's rovers.

Ages it has been and the world changed it has. Still no light sabres and Kimi Raikinnon races for ferarri, is there no justice? No.
But really how is all and sundry? Missed me? Liars you really did miss me. Well I'm here to make what could possibly be an empty promise (or threat) (good practise for upcoming elections) and assure you that I have not abandoned the world of opinionated cyber space and in fact staging some sort Batman type entrance comeback so watch this space (Closer you have only two eyes ruin them. Brought to by SeeAlot Opticians). But I think one bit of news should be addressed and that is the shocking revaltion of the death of Anna Nicole Smith who was discovered dead at 39. It was a classic American Fairy Tale the abridged version would be "Dance, shake tits, marry really old really rich guy, scare him into a heartattack with a Karma Sutra lap dance and then become famouse through legal battles. So how did she die no ones to sure yet but here are some of my theories.

Theory 1: She was sitting on the floor and was trying to get to a line of coke in the center of the coffee table when she tragically smothered herself with her Double Destroyers. (DD)

Theory 2: She fell down the stairs boobs first and her head exploded.

Theroy 3: J Howard Marshall II returned from the grave and scared her half to death she fainted fell over backwards and slapped herself in the face with her DD's to seal her fate.

True it's not nice to mack the dead, (sorry mock) but then again this is Anna she macked (shit, mocked) herself all her life it's only fitting we continue in her memory. (this woman had a penis in Naked Gun 33 1/3, i rest my case)

Anna may you Rest In A Very High Coffin

So Avid fans and haters keep checking for more and more and more. Till them please feel free to review my earlier works.
(which may be turned into plays you just never know.)

Advertorial Listen to Haze and Me (Nigel) every friday from 8.30 pm to 1 am on 101.7 TNL - Where It's At.

Tuk Tuk Da Game

2006-08-19T01:38:00.000-07:00

Finally someone's gona and got a bright idea and developed a crude (but healthy attempt) flash game involving trishaws and full on singhala effects and baila music. The player has a top veiw of the road and controls the three wheeler using the arrow keys. You score points mainly on how long you keep your taxi on the road and when you pick up passengers, who are inconviniently strewn across the roads, so plenty of opportunity for illegal overtaking and driving on the wrong side of the road remember though there is a' HIRE' status bar that reduces if you don't pick up hires and that would literally put you out off business. And be warned, if you hit another vehical you will be insulted in Singhala. The game also includes police chases, uptempo baila and traffic speeds up atevery new level.

The game obviously lacks many things that would make it more brilliant, for example, speed traps and potholes, animals running across the road for bonus points, different vehicals, in addition to pursuit cops some road rage pursuits would be good. More scenery like te' kade's, and lottery stands, more baila and more insults.

But all in all a brilliant effort. Cut and paste the link below in a new window and when you get the page Download Tuk Tuk Da Game Ver 2. Have fun.

http://funlk.com/modules.php?name=Downloads&d_op=viewdownload&cid=10

the owner and producer of this game is a chap called amila.g and his email addy is amilag@gmail.com

Colombo's Motor Show Goes Putt Putt Putt Putt

2006-07-24T03:36:00.000-07:00

For the past week Colombo has been under a bit of a media blitz perpertrated by the guys sponsoring the Motor Show at the BMICH that happened over the last weekend. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately for many people who are at the end of my bitching stick) I don't own a camera and therefore could not record the most disgusting things that man has put on wheels to date. These so called 'showable' machines do not hold a candle to the Skodas built during the cold war. But wait, like Julie Andrews lets start at the very begining. It was on a lovely Sunday afternoonon the 23rd of July 2006 when I decided to call "the Shams" and formulate an early evening plan to go to the motorshow. As we planned I headed over to his place to have a coffee and a 'smoke' and while doing this got engrossed in an intresting show on Discovery about days the shook the world, while we were mezmerized by khomeni's beard "the digs" called and inquired about our evening plan and soon getting ready to join. Once we tore ourselves away from Khomeni's we went over to "the digs" picked him up and headed over to the "MOTORSHOW" eagerly antcipating hot cars, hots girls and maybe a Ferrari or Maserati. We got to the BMICH and found that the show was being held behind the main building which meant a walk in the hot sun to the end of the yellow brick road. Grumble grumble grumble. While walking a 'home boy g killer' was riding around the car park helmetless on a clapped out ragged looking CBR Hurricane trying hard to attract the attention of smelly females who have been shun by deoderant itself, of course the three of us hoped eagerly that the "home boy g killer" would accidently jamm the front brakes, land face first on the back of a car thus learning the importance of a helmet sadly though the most that happened was he ran out of petrol. Finally just around the time that Dorothy met the Tin man we got to the event gates and right in the middle was a 10 foot ramp with a short wheel base Defender parked on the steep incline, the way it was parked, impressive, the vehicle? Shit, obviously somebody's unwarranted pride and joy. Moving inside towards the left hand pavillion (centre one full of cheap Chinese trucks, how exciting I may have even wet myself) we were greeted by the sounds of a hundred cheesy songs being played at the same time, to my horror we discovered it was the PETCO stall..... unbelivable...... there were hideously painted, modified japanese cars and MPV's with every single speaker known to mankind crammed into the back. Now I'm no pro when it comes to sound, but I have been a Club Dj, been in radio and worked in many production studios a collector of music and has a fair idea of good sound should sound like but these guys are clueless, not one single sound system sounded good, true some setups looked awesome with their three screen dvd players and surround sound but it all sounded shit and besideds you have to be really really lame to sit and watch a movie in your car. Inside the complex it was pretty much the same scenario and we three wanderers suddenly realize that we have been duped by the sponsors, "This is not a motorshow, it's a motor accesssories show" I cried feeling cheated and dyslexic. True to the horror it was a show displaying accessories and hideously modified cars, purly disgusting and dis-tasteful. in Japan men would be forced to perform Seppuku if they dared own vehicals modified or sound lke this. What happened to the glory days of the Colombo motor show? Where as you walked into the BMICH your were greeted by classic Jaguars and Ford Mustangs followed by hot evo's and mercs flanked by the latest BMW or Chrysler. After all alot of these up market luxuary vehicals are owned by politicos, OG's and rich tycoons (&sons) and since we paid for them at least let us see them. It was a sad display of ego's and bad taste and I quickly rushed home and washed down the bad taste with a Vodka and Cantaloop juice.

Take a juicy Cantaloop, cut it into quaters, scoop out the seeds, scoop flesh into plastic jug or blender, add 4tbs sugar, 2tbs lime juice, 200 ml cold water and blend. Pour into glass and add healthy amount of Smirnoff or Absolut.

A Paperweight, blue light and camera phone....

2006-06-18T07:04:00.000-07:00

THANKS FOR ALL THE FISH

2006-06-15T22:11:00.000-07:00

It's been almost two weeks and I haven't looked at a newspaper, watched the news, gone online or listened to the radio. Today however I decided to go online and visit the main Sri Lankan dish on blogs (kottu) and to be very honest "ignorance is bliss". I didn't know about the mine that killed 64, I didn't know about the family of 4 in Vankalai and i wish I still didn't. Sri Lanka has been gone to the dogs for decades and like the bible metaphorically put's it "like a dog that returns to it's own vomit". I've given up trying to understand, given up trying to talk about it, tired of all the heated discussions and blogs. At the end of it all Sri Lanka is on a collision course and on the verge of imploding into a huge bloody mess, the beginings of it we are already seeing. We will be hassled, our privacy will be threatened, we will live in fear of everyone and everything, curfews will begin, prices will sky rocket, business will be bad and war has begun. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that Sri Lanka is a country that doesn't learn from it's lessons, in fact, it's constantly trying to top the last fuck up with something far worse. And who has control? Arrack slaughtering drunkards in fast expensive cars, constantly 'crusin for a brusin', assaulting women and abusing every single law laid down. Maybe it's time to put down our placards and give up the fight, we are but one to a million and one can never change this country. So let's leave, leave behind this pathetic mess, leave behind the madness and mayham and go far away. It happened in the 80's and 90's, hundreds of like minded people took off and settled down with their families and to this day 90% of them live happily and satisfied. Why should we work so hard just to put money in the pockets wasters who squander money on cars, liquor, women and drugs that is our perogative. Why should our money be used to pay the salaries of sadistic murderers and sponsor their tools of destruction? In other countries tax money is used to keep these sort of people off the streets. Do we actually belive that all these young men we hand machine guns to are in the right state of mind? Do we actually belive that anyone cares? Even the many many human rights watch dogs and activists are nothing but a tiny little voice on TV. God bless their souls for the work they do, but honestly, we are so flogging the dead horse. Sri Lanka IS a beautiful country, with it's varying eniviroments, natural beauty and lush horticulture but no one seems to be rushing towards Yala or Trincomalee. Am I advocating leaving Sri lanka for good?? Yes, then we can all stop bitching about it and we can stop this feeling of sadness and disgust at the things our people to do eachother. I certainly wouldn't want to have or raise a family in this sort of environment.

So, I think we should take our cue from the Douglas Adam's dolphins, "So long and thanks for all the fish"

Ants In The Plants

2006-06-06T08:23:00.000-07:00

Ah.. the afternoon tea break, it's the stuff workers around the country dream about during their after lunch snooze. A time for taking a break and smoking that cigarette, sipping on a hot cup of personal delight in the sweltering heat of a tropical sun. It was during todays tea break, I was doing the usual hanging out on the balcony listening to the banter of the others discussing the latest activation or campaign when I suddenly found myself zoning in on an ant lifting the remains of a fallen commrade over his head and then hauling his dead ass away. Now not owning a camera of my own is as frustrating as not being able to draw anime art, but things like that should never stop anyone and there's always a solution to a problem, which was the OFFICE camera. So I ran in and grabbed the camera, and feeling like a complete National Geographic photographer started a war dance on the balcony snapping away, much to the amusement of the others. The one I've posted with this blog was a cheeky ant making, what looks like a rude gesture on a bamboo.

Will post some more bit by insi winsey bit.

Non-Smokers Delight??!?!?!?

2006-05-31T22:01:00.000-07:00

So since there's no smokers allowed in public places does that mean the name of this blog must change?

It's been a while since I last posted and it's because I've been massively busy with work and being higher up on the advertising food chain is somewhat slightly stressful. But time has changed so much, in the last few days there was a heinous tragedy involving a mine, The Da vinci Code was banned from public screening, lauded by the most so-called spiritually enlightned religious leaders who have taken it upon themselves to play god, removing the one most important thing God gave us : choice, Jack Daniels had a launch and gave away free JD (cheers chaps) and the most recent talk of the town, the banning of smoking in public. Once again our wonderful, insightful captains of the sinking ship we live on, have decided that taking away the only outlet for a sexually, financially, mentally, physically, educationally repressed and frustrated society is the best way to go. Another case of copy the design of a beautiful Ferrari, replicating it but forgetting to put in the steering wheel, gears and pedals. (god forbid we have started making cars). True Singapore (the model asia is trying to follow) has implemented a no smoking in public rule, but they have, in simple foresight, provided designated smoking areas, so that highly strung corporate exec's don't walk back into office after lunch and kill all their collegues and everyones needs have been looked into and not just the selfish non-smokers (who will soon have cars banned because second hand carbon monoxide gives them cancer) which reminds me, if you are a non-smoker and own a car, is it in road worthy condition and not spewing out cancer giving carbon monoxide in peoples faces? Have you spent all your time advocating the end of smoking so that you can't take your car to the garage? If everyone stopped being hypocrites and started being honest with eachother then maybe just maybe we'll become a more understanding society....(oh my god a flying pig). Of course it could also transpire to be that this whole farce has been concocted just to create another money siphoning cash cow for the powers that be. Hello BAT it's time to up the bribes, you guys are getting cheap or what? To be honest I have no issues with a law such as this, but, there has to be a little give and take, go ahead ban public smoking, but can we have designated areas please? And a 4 thousand ruppee fine!!!!!!!!!!! Come on, how many smokers can actually afford that amount???? just wait you bastards i will pay my fine in only 1 ruppee coins. : P Honestly I think the time has come for our generation to leave these shores and start our families and the rest of our lives somewhere far far away and keep Sri Lanka as a small bad memory in our lives. It's getting boring and stale, war, crime, corruption, religion sponsored dis-content and the in ability to make any change has been the stifling factor for many many great minds and people. Or we can unite and burn down this tyranny with our lit ciggerettes.

Whichever route we decide to take in our lives, remember, It's Rs. 4000/- fine if you are caught smoking, in public.

BAT(British American Tobbaco)MAN where are you?

A Tasty Chunk of Lamb

2006-05-27T22:07:00.000-07:00

WHo out there are Lamb Fans????? (not the meat, the muscians known as lamb). I got into Lamb while I was working at TNL Radio. Here I was, doing my show the Art of Noise when I dropped a track that was on my playlist called Gorecki by Lamb. I was hooked and continued my search for more lamb which resulted in the finding of odd singles like Gabriel on Cafe Del Mar compilations (which at the time was so avante garde people were rushing to buy Cafe Del Mar's like they were going out of fashion{which they eventually did}). But Lamb stuck around and released a single called Sweet - Soulchild radio mix which was a massive change to their usual dark brooding soulful stuff, which suprised me. Finally I was given a cd from Singapore called Lamb - Best Kept Secrets and boy did it blow my mind, the finest offerings of Lamb all on one cd, showcasing unbeliveable sounds and lyrics. Fast forward to yesterday, my mate Ka2 and I were crusing around on a wet Saturday evening wondering what to do when we decided to hit Vibrations (God I would so love to hit the guys working there as well, freeking monkeys who listen to Yanni, Yeach) to look for some fresh tunes, I was specifically looking for Mattafix a new band whose sound I've been digging for a couple of months, I asked one of the formatted drones who was lolling around if they had the album and he said no but told me they had the latest Britney Spears album with remixes from some dodgy fool who missed the evolutionary jump (wrist slashing moment as I pondered what had just been offered to me). I then asked the formatted drone to sit down and stay the hell away from me, he seemed confused but obviously knew the command 'sit down'. Having established there's no intelligence on Planet Vibrations I proceeded to flip through the Jazz section, Ella Fitzgerald, Miles Davis, Kenny G!!?????, Funk Jazz Quartet, Verve Remixed 3, Verve Unmixed 2 & 3, HOLD THE PHONE!!!! right at the back chucked with disdain was a single, lonely double album calling out to be taken home and held lovingly in the tray of a high end, high definition Marantz cd player, Lamb Remixed.
My heart gave a jump, leap, sommersault, pole vault, got stuck in my throat and my brain was screaming BUY BUY!!!!!, done deal. I did a quick scan at the back, which displayed names like Kruder & Dorfmeister, Rae & Christian, Photek, Andy Votel, Tom Middleton etc. etc. As soon as I got home, you can imagine what happened, plastic wrap ripped off, cd player switched on, sparked up the Creatives and let the music ride. I loved it, every single moment of it (ok, maybe except for one). There's a lot of deep drum n bass wrapped in this compilation, but extremely stylish stuff, there are some disturbing elctro beats that are completely whack and so fantastic. The shittiest moment is a mix by Dead Guys, who, unfortunately not dead enough. Now I will end short to go back to listening to my pick of the month "Lamb Remixed"

Predictions for Chillies 2007

2006-05-22T12:11:00.000-07:00

Chillies Pieces

2006-05-21T04:07:00.000-07:00

So the 20th of May 2006 marked the night for advertising's biggest event of the year, some sort of awards. Up until this year it was called the SLIM Awards sponsored by the self proclaimed gurus of marketing SLIM. Unfortunately holes were poked into the SLIM system and everyone seemed to want a new awards ceremony where creatives were judged by international judges along with local judges and were judged on creativity and not on how many pepsi bottles were sold. And so a hot show for hot creatives in a hot country for hot people to show of their hot clothes and they're hot cars was born and it was dubbed The Chillies. First of all, it is truly bad form to misspell the name of a judge, one would think with an industry packed with clever copywriters and systems designed to avoid these flaws like a judges name being misspelled. The show began with the usual gamut of dancers and performers and a meaningless brainwashing video designed solely for the purpose of turning weak minded people into red chillies. What's dissappointing is for all it's pomp and glory the Chillies has done nothing to change anything. There is still background noise about fixed enteries and unfair victories. The awards looked like tatty pieces of plastic and most people I spoke to found it boring. Then from the frying pan into the fire we go. The after party was a mess, boring dull as ditch water causing people to flee almost immediately, fortunately yours truly was not caught in the initial stampede. Back to another year of working like mad people to win more chillies in the next.

Assassins Mojo

2006-05-16T11:50:00.000-07:00

A compilation of killer grooves to die for or die to. 14 Great tracks mixed down by DJ Nigel includes
Massive Attack, Layo & Bushwacka, Tricky, Fat Boy Slim and many more.

Release Date : June 1st 2006. For more info email - eyepatchrecords@gmail.com

COMING SOON

2006-05-14T04:21:00.000-07:00

Killer Tracks to Die For.

Colors of Hikks

2006-05-13T14:10:00.000-07:00

Chilling outside the Druken Monkey-Hikkaduwa.

Hikkaduwa Blood Moon

2006-05-13T14:03:00.000-07:00

Taken from 2 mpl Kodak from a moving car coming back from Hikkaduwa

V for very bloody good.

2006-05-13T12:08:00.000-07:00

So, it's been three months since I got myself hooked up to Cable Tv and I've been lying in bed like a junkie with an IV plugged in watching sitcom after sitcom. Who knew technology was so addictive, 16 channels, remote control and 24 hour entertainment!!! our parents thought it would be a phase we'd grow out off...... fools. But amazingly enough it took a religious holiday for my faith to be renewed and a desperate break to partial freedom. It was on THE MAIN VESAK DAY I decided to take a ride in the late morning to see what the world was doing, forget the world, I saw the Video Shop and at that moment, the monks started chanting, mosque broke out in friday prayer through the loudspeakers and a dove flew into my helmet, it was at that moment I saw the OPEN sign, followed by the thought "there is a god", so I rushed in and selected 2 movies (as per budget and best copies) DOOM and V for Vendetta. Since this is a blog I will rant further on to say I went home with coke, ciggerettes, and chips, rolled some smurf and sat down to watch DOOM....*note: DOOM and I go way back....I loved computers in my childhood and I played alot of games and then I played aloooooot of DOOM, so curiosity got the best of me. Needless to say, it was a shit film and no man has ever taken more pride in saying the word FUCK other the The Rock in this movie, only 4 times but so memorable. Moving on, V for Vendetta is a 2 hour masterpiece, crafted by the loving hands of The Wachowski Brothers, debut direction by James McTeigue and produced by Joel Silver. Set in modern day England it's the classic tale of a hero, fighting for the opressed against a despotic madman, Z for Zorro and V for well... V. The hero V is crispy cool and so sophisticated he spends most of his time alone, (worse than Batman...no butler). V cunningly weaves a plot of deception and destruction to urge the citizens of England into a revolution against the baddie who is the High Chancellor of the Nation who turns out to be a paranoid fruit loop right down to the glass of milk. In the process of weaving and vandelism he meets this hottie played by Natalie Portman, who in one scene is dressed so angelic it's not even fit for the clergy. Crash boom bang, action in just the right proportions, mind twists, fanatstic dialog, fantastic direction and produced by someone only fit to be from the Matrix team. Watch this movie now!!!!!! And look out for the "FINGER MEN"

Pensive Mood in a Photoshop Impression

2006-05-13T10:32:00.000-07:00

War begins peace by peace.

2006-05-04T22:10:00.000-07:00

And so the time has come for the pessimists to crush the optimists with a million "I told you so'" as war has loomed and now spilled over the horizon and back on the seen like a malignant cancer. But one cannot dispute the wonder of Sri lankan politics and the way it's handled. Everyone knows the events leading upto to the breakdown of peace and back into the bombs of Colombo. the question is "will there ever be an end in sight, at all?" or are we plunging back into the deep dark ages where we won't have any money and will have to resort to fighting on elephant back using pikes as weapons. Currently it all seems rather bleak which is quite disheartning for the next generation half of whom will live in deep seated paranoia with one goal in mind (get to Australia) and the other half will have deep rooted hate and mis-guided patriotism that has been passed down generation after generation which has led us to this mess in the first place. Back to the present, and the road blocks at Bauddahloka Mawatha have been setup, ministers and deputy ministers run around in Chryslers costing 15Mn followed by brand new Hilux's packed like a 138 bus on Monday morning with security personnal, pushing people off the road as they rush to parliment to waste the hard earned money of the people they pushed off the road earlier, but at the same providng entertaining fodder for the morning tabloids and free press, blaming violence and terrorism on everyone else.
So what does one do in the middle of all this madness? Avoid, avoid and avoid. Rush down to Hikkaduwa as soon as possible whenever possible, avoid possible bombable targets like anything government based. And get bloody good insurance with riot and terrorism cover. Other than for that all we can do is relax and wait till we hit refugee status and then mass exodus it to Canada.

Mindless and Lost?

2006-04-27T07:27:00.000-07:00

If there was another moment in time, somewhere far away in another space, where the mind would flow like an avalanche crushing thoughts of negativity and paranoia rocking your world, doubting your reality, lost in thought like a ship lost at sea, searching for a recluse from the rough seas of uncertainty and powerlessnes, dipping and rising in the light of the blood moon, pretending to show the way out the maze in which you are trapped caused by the fear of history repeating leaving you on the edge of something so big but you are afraid to jump, deep into the ocean of thoughtlessness under the rough waves of despair, attaining a certain peace of mind and finding love not for someone else but for yourself feeling the power of stark realization knowing who you are and why you are here, illuminating where you have to go.........

would you go there?

Madness at Munich

2006-04-23T02:28:00.000-07:00

When will people ever learn to be respectful to other people in public places??? This morning I went to Munich at Majestic Cinema, and within the first 15 minutes 4 celluar phones rang loudly in the auditorium followed by "Machang I'm at a movie, what's up?" Whats up????????????????????? I'd love to know what's up.. of all the million place to make calls, during a movie is probably the dumbest time and place. The management should now come up with new rules banishing patrons who insist on having their ringers on loudly and carrying on in conversation much to the anger of others. Yes some people HAVE TO have thier phones on no matter what, but, that's what silent mode is for surely R & D scientist's who work mobile manufacturers had a simple purpose for that feature. And what is it with most Sri Lankans and seeing nudity on screen, the minute someone turns nude on a big screen, cajoling begins, crass humor and other side of the spectrum loud audible gasps of embaressment. Who will liberate our repressed society?
But apart from the unwanted added features the movie Munich in itself is extremely good showcasing powerful emotions of anger, remorse, regret and revenge. Pity it was wasted on a hall filled mostly by monkeys who failed at evolving.

Dark Glasses

2006-04-21T23:48:00.000-07:00

Dark Glasses.

As I look at the masses through my dark tinted glasses,
I realize, that in life the world is full of arses.
Twisting from left to right, turning from right to left,
Always looking for someone to use as a step.

When will it end? How soon will they go?
And disappear in chasms way down below.
How long does one suffer? How far does one go?
Is there really an “end of the road”?

Uncertainty whistles past my ear,
Opportunity’s knock never comes around here,
Behind dark glasses as I wishfully think,
The dark world around me slowly begins to sink.

Nigel J

It's all gone Pete Tong

2006-04-21T23:35:00.000-07:00

What is it with club goers in Sri Lanka and their insistance in listening to the same hacked out songs over over and over again, for eg. 'Summer Of 69' by Bryan Adams. Last night a Dj saved my life....... now I'm kidding last night I was Djing at a popular bar in Colombo and it amazes me how when you drop some fresh music everyone sits around and stares deeply into eachothers eyes but play some horrid Santana remix and woosh the party's started. WAKE UP COLOMBO AND HEAR THE CALL OF PROGRESS.

Work Blues

2006-04-19T21:14:00.000-07:00

Work Blues

As I sit in my prison and look out the bars
I dream about hot bikes and fast fancy cars
I dream about days when I danced in the sun
And replaced my worries with cold coke and rum
I dreamed about times on hikkaduwa beach
Far away from it all completely out of reach
I dreamed about rolling really strong smurf
As I watched young adventurers tackle the surf
I dream about days on a cold mountain top
A superb excuse for indulging in grog
I dream about languidly laying on hill
And feeling the early evening high altitude chill

The suddenly I remember and it brings me down
The fact that I’m dreaming and still in the town
Traffic below me screams with a horrendous roar
Through walls windows and under the doors
I rush and I rant, go completely insane
I’m tired of this rat race can’t stand the game
I try to retract to my make believe world
When I was dreaming of pina coladas and sun tan covered girls.

Sigh!!!!

Nigel J

Damn Electricity Companies

2006-04-19T21:09:00.000-07:00

Is'nt there some way for people to do something about these random power outages during the day? Is'nt it bad for electrical appliances?