Thursday, February 08, 2007

Part 2.1.23.455442112233 The Return Of Nigel, Restepca.



Anna Nicole Smith - Born: God only Knows Dead: Today, 2007
Boyfreind - Born: Last Year
Photo: Blatently stolen from BBC


Greetings and Salutations to my friends, visitors, those who have hoped I was dead and martians hiding from NASA's rovers.

Ages it has been and the world changed it has. Still no light sabres and Kimi Raikinnon races for ferarri, is there no justice? No.
But really how is all and sundry? Missed me? Liars you really did miss me. Well I'm here to make what could possibly be an empty promise (or threat) (good practise for upcoming elections) and assure you that I have not abandoned the world of opinionated cyber space and in fact staging some sort Batman type entrance comeback so watch this space (Closer you have only two eyes ruin them. Brought to by SeeAlot Opticians). But I think one bit of news should be addressed and that is the shocking revaltion of the death of Anna Nicole Smith who was discovered dead at 39. It was a classic American Fairy Tale the abridged version would be "Dance, shake tits, marry really old really rich guy, scare him into a heartattack with a Karma Sutra lap dance and then become famouse through legal battles. So how did she die no ones to sure yet but here are some of my theories.

Theory 1: She was sitting on the floor and was trying to get to a line of coke in the center of the coffee table when she tragically smothered herself with her Double Destroyers. (DD)

Theory 2: She fell down the stairs boobs first and her head exploded.

Theroy 3: J Howard Marshall II returned from the grave and scared her half to death she fainted fell over backwards and slapped herself in the face with her DD's to seal her fate.

True it's not nice to mack the dead, (sorry mock) but then again this is Anna she macked (shit, mocked) herself all her life it's only fitting we continue in her memory. (this woman had a penis in Naked Gun 33 1/3, i rest my case)

Anna may you Rest In A Very High Coffin

So Avid fans and haters keep checking for more and more and more. Till them please feel free to review my earlier works.
(which may be turned into plays you just never know.)

Advertorial Listen to Haze and Me (Nigel) every friday from 8.30 pm to 1 am on 101.7 TNL - Where It's At.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I say, welcome back mister nige, it's about bloody time. i see it took a platinum blonde with giant jugs dying in decidedly dodgy circumstances to make you wander back into the fray.

Nigel said...

Thank your, greetings and salutations thanks for the welcome it feels good to be back. Been too busy the last few months but Smokersdelight will rise from the ashes. Thanks again.

Anonymous said...

welcome back mate...maybe the warranty on her boobs just ran out? What I love is that she's a major subject for 'groundbreaking' reporters like Nancy Grace...sigh..vive Al Jazeera (fuck CNN)

Nigel said...

They really should have had her in an episode of nip tuck.