Tuk Tuk Da Game

Finally someone's gona and got a bright idea and developed a crude (but healthy attempt) flash game involving trishaws and full on singhala effects and baila music. The player has a top veiw of the road and controls the three wheeler using the arrow keys. You score points mainly on how long you keep your taxi on the road and when you pick up passengers, who are inconviniently strewn across the roads, so plenty of opportunity for illegal overtaking and driving on the wrong side of the road remember though there is a' HIRE' status bar that reduces if you don't pick up hires and that would literally put you out off business. And be warned, if you hit another vehical you will be insulted in Singhala. The game also includes police chases, uptempo baila and traffic speeds up atevery new level.

The game obviously lacks many things that would make it more brilliant, for example, speed traps and potholes, animals running across the road for bonus points, different vehicals, in addition to pursuit cops some road rage pursuits would be good. More scenery like te' kade's, and lottery stands, more baila and more insults.

But all in all a brilliant effort. Cut and paste the link below in a new window and when you get the page Download Tuk Tuk Da Game Ver 2. Have fun.

http://funlk.com/modules.php?name=Downloads&d_op=viewdownload&cid=10

the owner and producer of this game is a chap called amila.g and his email addy is amilag@gmail.com

Colombo's Motor Show Goes Putt Putt Putt Putt

For the past week Colombo has been under a bit of a media blitz perpertrated by the guys sponsoring the Motor Show at the BMICH that happened over the last weekend. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately for many people who are at the end of my bitching stick) I don't own a camera and therefore could not record the most disgusting things that man has put on wheels to date. These so called 'showable' machines do not hold a candle to the Skodas built during the cold war. But wait, like Julie Andrews lets start at the very begining. It was on a lovely Sunday afternoonon the 23rd of July 2006 when I decided to call "the Shams" and formulate an early evening plan to go to the motorshow. As we planned I headed over to his place to have a coffee and a 'smoke' and while doing this got engrossed in an intresting show on Discovery about days the shook the world, while we were mezmerized by khomeni's beard "the digs" called and inquired about our evening plan and soon getting ready to join. Once we tore ourselves away from Khomeni's we went over to "the digs" picked him up and headed over to the "MOTORSHOW" eagerly antcipating hot cars, hots girls and maybe a Ferrari or Maserati. We got to the BMICH and found that the show was being held behind the main building which meant a walk in the hot sun to the end of the yellow brick road. Grumble grumble grumble. While walking a 'home boy g killer' was riding around the car park helmetless on a clapped out ragged looking CBR Hurricane trying hard to attract the attention of smelly females who have been shun by deoderant itself, of course the three of us hoped eagerly that the "home boy g killer" would accidently jamm the front brakes, land face first on the back of a car thus learning the importance of a helmet sadly though the most that happened was he ran out of petrol. Finally just around the time that Dorothy met the Tin man we got to the event gates and right in the middle was a 10 foot ramp with a short wheel base Defender parked on the steep incline, the way it was parked, impressive, the vehicle? Shit, obviously somebody's unwarranted pride and joy. Moving inside towards the left hand pavillion (centre one full of cheap Chinese trucks, how exciting I may have even wet myself) we were greeted by the sounds of a hundred cheesy songs being played at the same time, to my horror we discovered it was the PETCO stall..... unbelivable...... there were hideously painted, modified japanese cars and MPV's with every single speaker known to mankind crammed into the back. Now I'm no pro when it comes to sound, but I have been a Club Dj, been in radio and worked in many production studios a collector of music and has a fair idea of good sound should sound like but these guys are clueless, not one single sound system sounded good, true some setups looked awesome with their three screen dvd players and surround sound but it all sounded shit and besideds you have to be really really lame to sit and watch a movie in your car. Inside the complex it was pretty much the same scenario and we three wanderers suddenly realize that we have been duped by the sponsors, "This is not a motorshow, it's a motor accesssories show" I cried feeling cheated and dyslexic. True to the horror it was a show displaying accessories and hideously modified cars, purly disgusting and dis-tasteful. in Japan men would be forced to perform Seppuku if they dared own vehicals modified or sound lke this. What happened to the glory days of the Colombo motor show? Where as you walked into the BMICH your were greeted by classic Jaguars and Ford Mustangs followed by hot evo's and mercs flanked by the latest BMW or Chrysler. After all alot of these up market luxuary vehicals are owned by politicos, OG's and rich tycoons (&sons) and since we paid for them at least let us see them. It was a sad display of ego's and bad taste and I quickly rushed home and washed down the bad taste with a Vodka and Cantaloop juice.

Take a juicy Cantaloop, cut it into quaters, scoop out the seeds, scoop flesh into plastic jug or blender, add 4tbs sugar, 2tbs lime juice, 200 ml cold water and blend. Pour into glass and add healthy amount of Smirnoff or Absolut.

A Paperweight, blue light and camera phone....

THANKS FOR ALL THE FISH

It's been almost two weeks and I haven't looked at a newspaper, watched the news, gone online or listened to the radio. Today however I decided to go online and visit the main Sri Lankan dish on blogs (kottu) and to be very honest "ignorance is bliss". I didn't know about the mine that killed 64, I didn't know about the family of 4 in Vankalai and i wish I still didn't. Sri Lanka has been gone to the dogs for decades and like the bible metaphorically put's it "like a dog that returns to it's own vomit". I've given up trying to understand, given up trying to talk about it, tired of all the heated discussions and blogs. At the end of it all Sri Lanka is on a collision course and on the verge of imploding into a huge bloody mess, the beginings of it we are already seeing. We will be hassled, our privacy will be threatened, we will live in fear of everyone and everything, curfews will begin, prices will sky rocket, business will be bad and war has begun. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that Sri Lanka is a country that doesn't learn from it's lessons, in fact, it's constantly trying to top the last fuck up with something far worse. And who has control? Arrack slaughtering drunkards in fast expensive cars, constantly 'crusin for a brusin', assaulting women and abusing every single law laid down. Maybe it's time to put down our placards and give up the fight, we are but one to a million and one can never change this country. So let's leave, leave behind this pathetic mess, leave behind the madness and mayham and go far away. It happened in the 80's and 90's, hundreds of like minded people took off and settled down with their families and to this day 90% of them live happily and satisfied. Why should we work so hard just to put money in the pockets wasters who squander money on cars, liquor, women and drugs that is our perogative. Why should our money be used to pay the salaries of sadistic murderers and sponsor their tools of destruction? In other countries tax money is used to keep these sort of people off the streets. Do we actually belive that all these young men we hand machine guns to are in the right state of mind? Do we actually belive that anyone cares? Even the many many human rights watch dogs and activists are nothing but a tiny little voice on TV. God bless their souls for the work they do, but honestly, we are so flogging the dead horse. Sri Lanka IS a beautiful country, with it's varying eniviroments, natural beauty and lush horticulture but no one seems to be rushing towards Yala or Trincomalee. Am I advocating leaving Sri lanka for good?? Yes, then we can all stop bitching about it and we can stop this feeling of sadness and disgust at the things our people to do eachother. I certainly wouldn't want to have or raise a family in this sort of environment.

So, I think we should take our cue from the Douglas Adam's dolphins, "So long and thanks for all the fish"

Ants In The Plants

Ah.. the afternoon tea break, it's the stuff workers around the country dream about during their after lunch snooze. A time for taking a break and smoking that cigarette, sipping on a hot cup of personal delight in the sweltering heat of a tropical sun. It was during todays tea break, I was doing the usual hanging out on the balcony listening to the banter of the others discussing the latest activation or campaign when I suddenly found myself zoning in on an ant lifting the remains of a fallen commrade over his head and then hauling his dead ass away. Now not owning a camera of my own is as frustrating as not being able to draw anime art, but things like that should never stop anyone and there's always a solution to a problem, which was the OFFICE camera. So I ran in and grabbed the camera, and feeling like a complete National Geographic photographer started a war dance on the balcony snapping away, much to the amusement of the others. The one I've posted with this blog was a cheeky ant making, what looks like a rude gesture on a bamboo.

Will post some more bit by insi winsey bit.

Non-Smokers Delight??!?!?!?

So since there's no smokers allowed in public places does that mean the name of this blog must change?

It's been a while since I last posted and it's because I've been massively busy with work and being higher up on the advertising food chain is somewhat slightly stressful. But time has changed so much, in the last few days there was a heinous tragedy involving a mine, The Da vinci Code was banned from public screening, lauded by the most so-called spiritually enlightned religious leaders who have taken it upon themselves to play god, removing the one most important thing God gave us : choice, Jack Daniels had a launch and gave away free JD (cheers chaps) and the most recent talk of the town, the banning of smoking in public. Once again our wonderful, insightful captains of the sinking ship we live on, have decided that taking away the only outlet for a sexually, financially, mentally, physically, educationally repressed and frustrated society is the best way to go. Another case of copy the design of a beautiful Ferrari, replicating it but forgetting to put in the steering wheel, gears and pedals. (god forbid we have started making cars). True Singapore (the model asia is trying to follow) has implemented a no smoking in public rule, but they have, in simple foresight, provided designated smoking areas, so that highly strung corporate exec's don't walk back into office after lunch and kill all their collegues and everyones needs have been looked into and not just the selfish non-smokers (who will soon have cars banned because second hand carbon monoxide gives them cancer) which reminds me, if you are a non-smoker and own a car, is it in road worthy condition and not spewing out cancer giving carbon monoxide in peoples faces? Have you spent all your time advocating the end of smoking so that you can't take your car to the garage? If everyone stopped being hypocrites and started being honest with eachother then maybe just maybe we'll become a more understanding society....(oh my god a flying pig). Of course it could also transpire to be that this whole farce has been concocted just to create another money siphoning cash cow for the powers that be. Hello BAT it's time to up the bribes, you guys are getting cheap or what? To be honest I have no issues with a law such as this, but, there has to be a little give and take, go ahead ban public smoking, but can we have designated areas please? And a 4 thousand ruppee fine!!!!!!!!!!! Come on, how many smokers can actually afford that amount???? just wait you bastards i will pay my fine in only 1 ruppee coins. : P Honestly I think the time has come for our generation to leave these shores and start our families and the rest of our lives somewhere far far away and keep Sri Lanka as a small bad memory in our lives. It's getting boring and stale, war, crime, corruption, religion sponsored dis-content and the in ability to make any change has been the stifling factor for many many great minds and people. Or we can unite and burn down this tyranny with our lit ciggerettes.

Whichever route we decide to take in our lives, remember, It's Rs. 4000/- fine if you are caught smoking, in public.

BAT(British American Tobbaco)MAN where are you?

A Tasty Chunk of Lamb

WHo out there are Lamb Fans????? (not the meat, the muscians known as lamb). I got into Lamb while I was working at TNL Radio. Here I was, doing my show the Art of Noise when I dropped a track that was on my playlist called Gorecki by Lamb. I was hooked and continued my search for more lamb which resulted in the finding of odd singles like Gabriel on Cafe Del Mar compilations (which at the time was so avante garde people were rushing to buy Cafe Del Mar's like they were going out of fashion{which they eventually did}). But Lamb stuck around and released a single called Sweet - Soulchild radio mix which was a massive change to their usual dark brooding soulful stuff, which suprised me. Finally I was given a cd from Singapore called Lamb - Best Kept Secrets and boy did it blow my mind, the finest offerings of Lamb all on one cd, showcasing unbeliveable sounds and lyrics. Fast forward to yesterday, my mate Ka2 and I were crusing around on a wet Saturday evening wondering what to do when we decided to hit Vibrations (God I would so love to hit the guys working there as well, freeking monkeys who listen to Yanni, Yeach) to look for some fresh tunes, I was specifically looking for Mattafix a new band whose sound I've been digging for a couple of months, I asked one of the formatted drones who was lolling around if they had the album and he said no but told me they had the latest Britney Spears album with remixes from some dodgy fool who missed the evolutionary jump (wrist slashing moment as I pondered what had just been offered to me). I then asked the formatted drone to sit down and stay the hell away from me, he seemed confused but obviously knew the command 'sit down'. Having established there's no intelligence on Planet Vibrations I proceeded to flip through the Jazz section, Ella Fitzgerald, Miles Davis, Kenny G!!?????, Funk Jazz Quartet, Verve Remixed 3, Verve Unmixed 2 & 3, HOLD THE PHONE!!!! right at the back chucked with disdain was a single, lonely double album calling out to be taken home and held lovingly in the tray of a high end, high definition Marantz cd player, Lamb Remixed.
My heart gave a jump, leap, sommersault, pole vault, got stuck in my throat and my brain was screaming BUY BUY!!!!!, done deal. I did a quick scan at the back, which displayed names like Kruder & Dorfmeister, Rae & Christian, Photek, Andy Votel, Tom Middleton etc. etc. As soon as I got home, you can imagine what happened, plastic wrap ripped off, cd player switched on, sparked up the Creatives and let the music ride. I loved it, every single moment of it (ok, maybe except for one). There's a lot of deep drum n bass wrapped in this compilation, but extremely stylish stuff, there are some disturbing elctro beats that are completely whack and so fantastic. The shittiest moment is a mix by Dead Guys, who, unfortunately not dead enough. Now I will end short to go back to listening to my pick of the month "Lamb Remixed"

Predictions for Chillies 2007

Chillies Pieces

So the 20th of May 2006 marked the night for advertising's biggest event of the year, some sort of awards. Up until this year it was called the SLIM Awards sponsored by the self proclaimed gurus of marketing SLIM. Unfortunately holes were poked into the SLIM system and everyone seemed to want a new awards ceremony where creatives were judged by international judges along with local judges and were judged on creativity and not on how many pepsi bottles were sold. And so a hot show for hot creatives in a hot country for hot people to show of their hot clothes and they're hot cars was born and it was dubbed The Chillies. First of all, it is truly bad form to misspell the name of a judge, one would think with an industry packed with clever copywriters and systems designed to avoid these flaws like a judges name being misspelled. The show began with the usual gamut of dancers and performers and a meaningless brainwashing video designed solely for the purpose of turning weak minded people into red chillies. What's dissappointing is for all it's pomp and glory the Chillies has done nothing to change anything. There is still background noise about fixed enteries and unfair victories. The awards looked like tatty pieces of plastic and most people I spoke to found it boring. Then from the frying pan into the fire we go. The after party was a mess, boring dull as ditch water causing people to flee almost immediately, fortunately yours truly was not caught in the initial stampede. Back to another year of working like mad people to win more chillies in the next.

Assassins Mojo

A compilation of killer grooves to die for or die to. 14 Great tracks mixed down by DJ Nigel includes
Massive Attack, Layo & Bushwacka, Tricky, Fat Boy Slim and many more.

Release Date : June 1st 2006. For more info email - eyepatchrecords@gmail.com

COMING SOON

Killer Tracks to Die For.

Colors of Hikks

Chilling outside the Druken Monkey-Hikkaduwa.

Hikkaduwa Blood Moon

Taken from 2 mpl Kodak from a moving car coming back from Hikkaduwa

V for very bloody good.

So, it's been three months since I got myself hooked up to Cable Tv and I've been lying in bed like a junkie with an IV plugged in watching sitcom after sitcom. Who knew technology was so addictive, 16 channels, remote control and 24 hour entertainment!!! our parents thought it would be a phase we'd grow out off...... fools. But amazingly enough it took a religious holiday for my faith to be renewed and a desperate break to partial freedom. It was on THE MAIN VESAK DAY I decided to take a ride in the late morning to see what the world was doing, forget the world, I saw the Video Shop and at that moment, the monks started chanting, mosque broke out in friday prayer through the loudspeakers and a dove flew into my helmet, it was at that moment I saw the OPEN sign, followed by the thought "there is a god", so I rushed in and selected 2 movies (as per budget and best copies) DOOM and V for Vendetta. Since this is a blog I will rant further on to say I went home with coke, ciggerettes, and chips, rolled some smurf and sat down to watch DOOM....*note: DOOM and I go way back....I loved computers in my childhood and I played alot of games and then I played aloooooot of DOOM, so curiosity got the best of me. Needless to say, it was a shit film and no man has ever taken more pride in saying the word FUCK other the The Rock in this movie, only 4 times but so memorable. Moving on, V for Vendetta is a 2 hour masterpiece, crafted by the loving hands of The Wachowski Brothers, debut direction by James McTeigue and produced by Joel Silver. Set in modern day England it's the classic tale of a hero, fighting for the opressed against a despotic madman, Z for Zorro and V for well... V. The hero V is crispy cool and so sophisticated he spends most of his time alone, (worse than Batman...no butler). V cunningly weaves a plot of deception and destruction to urge the citizens of England into a revolution against the baddie who is the High Chancellor of the Nation who turns out to be a paranoid fruit loop right down to the glass of milk. In the process of weaving and vandelism he meets this hottie played by Natalie Portman, who in one scene is dressed so angelic it's not even fit for the clergy. Crash boom bang, action in just the right proportions, mind twists, fanatstic dialog, fantastic direction and produced by someone only fit to be from the Matrix team. Watch this movie now!!!!!! And look out for the "FINGER MEN"

Pensive Mood in a Photoshop Impression

War begins peace by peace.

And so the time has come for the pessimists to crush the optimists with a million "I told you so'" as war has loomed and now spilled over the horizon and back on the seen like a malignant cancer. But one cannot dispute the wonder of Sri lankan politics and the way it's handled. Everyone knows the events leading upto to the breakdown of peace and back into the bombs of Colombo. the question is "will there ever be an end in sight, at all?" or are we plunging back into the deep dark ages where we won't have any money and will have to resort to fighting on elephant back using pikes as weapons. Currently it all seems rather bleak which is quite disheartning for the next generation half of whom will live in deep seated paranoia with one goal in mind (get to Australia) and the other half will have deep rooted hate and mis-guided patriotism that has been passed down generation after generation which has led us to this mess in the first place. Back to the present, and the road blocks at Bauddahloka Mawatha have been setup, ministers and deputy ministers run around in Chryslers costing 15Mn followed by brand new Hilux's packed like a 138 bus on Monday morning with security personnal, pushing people off the road as they rush to parliment to waste the hard earned money of the people they pushed off the road earlier, but at the same providng entertaining fodder for the morning tabloids and free press, blaming violence and terrorism on everyone else.
So what does one do in the middle of all this madness? Avoid, avoid and avoid. Rush down to Hikkaduwa as soon as possible whenever possible, avoid possible bombable targets like anything government based. And get bloody good insurance with riot and terrorism cover. Other than for that all we can do is relax and wait till we hit refugee status and then mass exodus it to Canada.

Mindless and Lost?

If there was another moment in time, somewhere far away in another space, where the mind would flow like an avalanche crushing thoughts of negativity and paranoia rocking your world, doubting your reality, lost in thought like a ship lost at sea, searching for a recluse from the rough seas of uncertainty and powerlessnes, dipping and rising in the light of the blood moon, pretending to show the way out the maze in which you are trapped caused by the fear of history repeating leaving you on the edge of something so big but you are afraid to jump, deep into the ocean of thoughtlessness under the rough waves of despair, attaining a certain peace of mind and finding love not for someone else but for yourself feeling the power of stark realization knowing who you are and why you are here, illuminating where you have to go.........

would you go there?

Madness at Munich

When will people ever learn to be respectful to other people in public places??? This morning I went to Munich at Majestic Cinema, and within the first 15 minutes 4 celluar phones rang loudly in the auditorium followed by "Machang I'm at a movie, what's up?" Whats up????????????????????? I'd love to know what's up.. of all the million place to make calls, during a movie is probably the dumbest time and place. The management should now come up with new rules banishing patrons who insist on having their ringers on loudly and carrying on in conversation much to the anger of others. Yes some people HAVE TO have thier phones on no matter what, but, that's what silent mode is for surely R & D scientist's who work mobile manufacturers had a simple purpose for that feature. And what is it with most Sri Lankans and seeing nudity on screen, the minute someone turns nude on a big screen, cajoling begins, crass humor and other side of the spectrum loud audible gasps of embaressment. Who will liberate our repressed society?
But apart from the unwanted added features the movie Munich in itself is extremely good showcasing powerful emotions of anger, remorse, regret and revenge. Pity it was wasted on a hall filled mostly by monkeys who failed at evolving.

Dark Glasses

Dark Glasses.

As I look at the masses through my dark tinted glasses,
I realize, that in life the world is full of arses.
Twisting from left to right, turning from right to left,
Always looking for someone to use as a step.

When will it end? How soon will they go?
And disappear in chasms way down below.
How long does one suffer? How far does one go?
Is there really an “end of the road”?

Uncertainty whistles past my ear,
Opportunity’s knock never comes around here,
Behind dark glasses as I wishfully think,
The dark world around me slowly begins to sink.

Nigel J

It's all gone Pete Tong

What is it with club goers in Sri Lanka and their insistance in listening to the same hacked out songs over over and over again, for eg. 'Summer Of 69' by Bryan Adams. Last night a Dj saved my life....... now I'm kidding last night I was Djing at a popular bar in Colombo and it amazes me how when you drop some fresh music everyone sits around and stares deeply into eachothers eyes but play some horrid Santana remix and woosh the party's started. WAKE UP COLOMBO AND HEAR THE CALL OF PROGRESS.

Work Blues

Work Blues

As I sit in my prison and look out the bars
I dream about hot bikes and fast fancy cars
I dream about days when I danced in the sun
And replaced my worries with cold coke and rum
I dreamed about times on hikkaduwa beach
Far away from it all completely out of reach
I dreamed about rolling really strong smurf
As I watched young adventurers tackle the surf
I dream about days on a cold mountain top
A superb excuse for indulging in grog
I dream about languidly laying on hill
And feeling the early evening high altitude chill

The suddenly I remember and it brings me down
The fact that I’m dreaming and still in the town
Traffic below me screams with a horrendous roar
Through walls windows and under the doors
I rush and I rant, go completely insane
I’m tired of this rat race can’t stand the game
I try to retract to my make believe world
When I was dreaming of pina coladas and sun tan covered girls.

Sigh!!!!

Nigel J

Damn Electricity Companies

Is'nt there some way for people to do something about these random power outages during the day? Is'nt it bad for electrical appliances?